Overwhelming evidence indicates that the majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men against women. However, not all men are perpetrators! In fact, the majority of men have never raped or sexually assaulted anyone.
For decades men have been left out of the equation of violence prevention and the elimination of rape. We know, however, that this issue is not just a “women’s issue.” Sexual violence affects everyone. And it is everyone’s responsibility to make sure the violence stops.
Men play a very crucial role in rape prevention. Here are a few of the ways men can help:
Words are very powerful, especially when spoken by people with power over others. We live in a society in which words are often used to put women down, where calling a girl or woman a “bitch,” “freak,” “whore,” “baby,” or “dog” is common. Such language sends a message that females are less than fully human. When we see women as inferior, it becomes easier to treat them with less respect, disregard their rights, and ignore their well-being.
Sexual violence often goes hand in hand with poor communication. Our discomfort with talking honestly and openly about sex dramatically raises the risk of rape. By learning effective sexual communication — stating your desires clearly, listening to your partner, and asking when the situation is unclear — men make sex safer for themselves and others.
You will probably never see a rape in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you won’t support them. Do anything but remain silent.
Rape will not be taken seriously until everyone knows how common it is. In the U.S. alone, more than one million women and girls are raped each year (Rape in America, 1992). By learning to sensitively support survivors in their lives, men can help both women and other men feel safer to speak out about being raped and let the world know how serious a problem rape is.
Join or donate to an organization, like Sexual Trauma Services, working to prevent violence against women. Rape crisis centers, domestic violence agencies, and men’s anti-rape groups count on donations for their survival and always need volunteers to share the workload.
Rape feeds off many other forms of prejudice — including racism, homophobia, and religious discrimination. By speaking out against any beliefs and behaviors, including rape, that promote one group of people as superior to another and deny other groups their full humanity, you support everyone’s equality.
It is important men in our community lead by example, and never disregard, excuse, commit, or remain silent about any violence, and particularly that against women and girls. You can be a role model for other men and boys in our communities if you stand up.
