{"id":262,"date":"2020-06-20T18:55:29","date_gmt":"2020-06-20T18:55:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stsm.org\/?page_id=262"},"modified":"2020-06-20T18:55:31","modified_gmt":"2020-06-20T18:55:31","slug":"family-and-friends-of-survivors","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/arf.stsm.org\/?page_id=262","title":{"rendered":"Family and Friends of Survivors"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If Someone You Know Has Been Sexually Assaulted<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they\u2019ve been sexually assaulted, especially if they are a friend or family member. For a survivor, disclosing to someone they care about can be very difficult, so we encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgemental as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes support means providing resources, such as how to reach Sexual Trauma Services Crisis Hotline, seek medical attention, or report the crime to the police. But often listening is the best way to support a survivor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some specific phrases STSM’s staff recommend to be supportive through a survivor\u2019s healing process.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI believe you. \/ It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.\u201d<\/strong> It can be extremely difficult for survivors to come forward and share their story. They may feel ashamed, concerned that they won\u2019t be believed, or worried they\u2019ll be blamed. Leave any \u201cwhy\u201d questions or investigations to the experts\u2014your job is to support this person. Be careful not to interpret calmness as a sign that the event did not occur\u2014everyone responds to traumatic events differently. The best thing you can do is to believe them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not your fault. \/ You didn\u2019t do anything to deserve this.\u201d<\/strong> Survivors may blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. Remind the survivor, maybe even more than once, that they are not to blame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are not alone. \/ I care about you and am here to listen or help in any way I can.\u201d<\/strong> Let the survivor know that you are there for them and willing to listen to their story if they are comfortable sharing it. Assess if there are people in their life they feel comfortable going to, and remind them that there are service providers who will be able to support them as they heal from the experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry this happened. \/ This shouldn\u2019t have happened to you.\u201d<\/strong> Acknowledge that the experience has affected their life. Phrases like \u201cThis must be really tough for you,\u201d and, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you are sharing this with me,\u201d help to communicate empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continued Support <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s no timetable when it comes to recovering from sexual violence. If someone trusted you enough to disclose the event to you, consider the following ways to show your continued support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n